how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
