i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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