Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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