I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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