I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize