it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
