dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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