i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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