I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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