just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
