God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
