At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
two words...techno handjob
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize