You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
why is half of my head shaved?
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