I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
