I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
