you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize