Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
