Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
