in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
