nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
