Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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