This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
