I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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