you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
