...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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