Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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