anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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