Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
i think im in europe. pls send help
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
