In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize