As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
