I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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