cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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