Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
