you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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