If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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