i permit you to call me
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
