Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
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When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
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This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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