I wish they made helmets for livers.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
