Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
