Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
