The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my being single is dangerous.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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