I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
