Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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