69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
