i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
