Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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