I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
