No awkward lesbian experiences without me
id be glad to
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
