check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
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Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
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And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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