I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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