Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
