Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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