ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
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