I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
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He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
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I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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