Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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