like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
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After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
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I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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