Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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