Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
