I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We left an ass print on the piano.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
