I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
