Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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