ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
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It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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